Dead Dad*

Father, where’d you go and why so fast
Why didn’t our relationship last?
Was I that ugly or too loud?
Father I promise I would have made you proud

I know deep down it was me that made you leave
Dealing with all those diapers full of shit and pee.
And those looks and the slaps on the cheek
I know it was because I was a freak

Mother told me these things
That it was her and not her little king
Still that doesn’t take away the sting
And now that you are dead dad I sing

© 2011 Michael Yost

poetrypotluck

http://jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/2011/06/poetry-potluck-void-loneliness-and.html

*I’ve resolved my feelings about this and have forgiven him and myself for once feeling this way.

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24 responses to “Dead Dad*

  1. I know some people who can relate to this poem. Good job!

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  2. this brings many emotions to the surface…powerful write

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  3. the holidays eh? they do dredge up memories and poems

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  4. Relate but still sad . Right to the heart, you did well.

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  5. sad, what a fine tribe to Dad.
    bless you both.

    Happy Potluck!

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  6. this is painful especially when somebody owns the guilt; when somebody is happy to see one dead. thought provoking but as you said, this is just one side of the coin. Peace and blessings to you 🙂

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    • I’ve resolved in my heart now what I did feel growing up as a boy and young man. Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to bring this up as I should have explained earlier.

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  7. Hello Michael.
    This was indeed a sad write.
    I lost my dad when I was in my early teens and bit by bit, my memories of him fade.

    I do know that I loved him and he loved me and that memory will always remain in my heart.

    Thank you for sharing and for visiting my blog.

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    • If I had the opportunity to have a Dad up to that point I would write down All the memories I could remember. Don’t let them fade; they are too precious; you may want to share them with your other family members at some point

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  8. So hard to understand these things, Michael. Too bad you didn’t have a chance to resolve it this side of the grave, but bravo for your strength of forgiveness.

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  9. Not all Father’s Day are filled with memories of love and affection. It was sometimes very difficult for me to honor my father on that day. My Dad was a “booger” too!

    I commend you for forgiving him–it takes an understanding and open heart to do that. I like the honesty in your poem.

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    • Alcoholism and he had a bad father as well. I’m just glad I escaped the potential for abuse. It’s easier to be honest, because all you have to remember is the truth.

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  10. My father was an alcoholic too,–and very self centered (and his father too). I agree with you–I’m glad I escaped that potential. I spent my younger (childhood) years feeling great shame and embarrassment, but no more.

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  11. Oh this is really intense and dark. I had an alcoholic psychopathic schizophrenic abusive man for a father and I know the guilt well

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    • Sorry to hear, but glad for the result of what seems to be a well adjusted poet in front of me. In my case it’s a mirror reflecting maladjustment.. bwahhh ha ha eeee

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