Emptiness Prevails

Unfurling my sailsUnfurling The Sails
Winds to calm my heart
Emptiness prevails

My wet brow is pale
Not good for a start
Unfurling my sails

Wanting for an ale
Look upon my chart
Emptiness prevails

Why the wind curtails
Keeping us apart
Unfurling my sails

Praying for strong gales
For love I must part
Emptiness prevails

I just can not fail
The tears start to smart
Unfurling my sails
Emptiness prevails

© 2011 Michael Yost
First Villanelle

One Stop Poetry Form Villanelle

http://www.flickr.com/photos/dave77459/4898706812/

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14 responses to “Emptiness Prevails

  1. michael – you did really good – good rhymes – you sticked to the form – i would say you unfurled your villanelle sails…kudos
    maybe it’s by accident that you have the in between your first stanza..? made me almost miss your first line…

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    • On my view it appears OK. I’ll try and lower the picture just in case others are having the same problem. Thanks for the comments and the kudos.. I usually follow destructions very well. The old military guy that still resides inside.. lol

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  2. i mean the picture in between your first stanza…

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  3. The view looks good on my computer… you must have fixed it. Very nice. One question because I don’t know the answer. Is it OK to leave the “s” off of a rhyme word? (like ale, then you use curtails) If so, it would have made my selections easier in my attempt. Either way, I think it is nice. I like the first two lines “unfurling my sails, winds to calm my heart…” That is how I imagine all sailers feeling getting out of the docks! That you tied it all in with a longing for a love is great. 🙂

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  4. Sounds like at the end, emptiness is what you lack the most… Awesome post, I loved the image 😀
    CONGRATS ON THE AWARD WEEK 37!

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  5. This is my second read today on a villianelle…I liked that one and this one also. I mentioned as I commented on the other how I don’t know what a villianelle is but I do so love this.

    I guess I’ll have to do some research

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  6. Wow! You are really being adventurous, trying out new forms. Well done here. I like it. The rhythm and flow sees perfect to me.

    Looks like you are having fun with it all. 🙂

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  7. “The tears start to smart”
    It has been an incredibly long time since I have seen such an amazing lyrical poem that so strongly incorporates physical with emotional elements. You are an amazing writer. So glad to have found you here. 🙂
    Be Well,
    Alex

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